1. That commercial and literary fiction are equally difficult.
People like to think it's harder to write a serious literary book than a light-hearted commercial book. As Jenny Colgan says on my site: 'This is complete bullshit. You write your view of the world, from your head. If it's funny and quirky or if it's deep and meaningful, the process is exactly the same.'
2. Most writing comes from inside, not outside.
Creative writing courses encourage you to sit in a cafe with a notepad and write down observations. Don't bother. You'll either look like a weirdo or a private detective or get someone saying "What the hell are you looking at?" and you could end up in a fight (and most writing courses wouldn't be able to pay the compensation). It's also a complete waste of time. Writing is about your own interpretation of your personal experience, often from childhood, even if the novel is about something else entirely.
3. Writing is private.
Creative writing courses peddle the myth that writing gets better if you share ideas and show people your work before it's finished. Yeah, right. Having some bearded stranger in a corduroy jacket slag off your work doesn't make you a better writer, it just makes you contemplate physical violence. I don't show friends, family or creative writing students any of my work until it's been sent off and there's nothing I can do about it.
4. You don't need to read Virginia Woolf.
Or Henry James. Or Tolstoy. Or James bloody Joyce. Being widely-read is an advantage, but you should never feel obliged to read certain authors because you think it will make you a better writer. After all, good writing is like good driving. It's better when you aren't under the influence.
5. Dialogue helps fill pages.
If you are writing long paragraphs it takes forever to fill a page. If you are getting depressed about your snail-speed go for a big dialogue scene and watch the pages fly by!
6. Chick-lit is not evil.
For (usually male) professors of creative writing courses chick-lit novels like the ones I write are the worst type of books. Fortunately, publishers and the public don't share these views.
7. It's a business.
Writing, like all art-forms, is a business activity which requires a business mentality if you are going to get published. Shakespeare and Dickens weren't just great literary talents, they were also shameless publicists with a skill for self-promotion and an eye firmly on the market. You have to see yourself as a brand with a clear identity that agents and publishers will be attracted to.
8. You can write sex scenes.
Some creative writing courses say sex scenes should be avoided because they can become unintentionally funny or pornographic or put off prudish readers. Ever since I was told that, I've made sure I have at least five sex scenes per novel. Writing is about being honest, so if you are writing honestly about sex it will be a long way from the soft-focus titillation of soft-porn. Sex is a fact of life, possibly the most important fact of all.
9. You can swear on the first page.
I was once told that if I didn't get rid of the F word on the first page of The Ex-Factor I wouldn't get a novel deal. I kept it in and still got published. Swearing, like sex, is a fact of life. We all think in swear words even if we don't say them aloud.
10. Honesty is all that matters.
Good writing is not about long words or obscure references (unless you are Will Self). It's about being truthful, and about trying to find an honest perspective that only you can provide. If you dare to be honest about your own attitudes to life, and write in an accessible way, you will already have a head-start. Don't try and be Virginia Woolf. Be yourself. Sure, that takes guts but unless you are truly giving a piece of yourself away, then what's the point?
Ten things they don't teach you on a creative writing course