1. You'll get lonely
You end up craving that inane water-cooler chit-chat. Having no-one to talk to from one day to the next would drive me insane but I'd probably get a lot more work done I suppose!
2. You'll become a media whore
I'm afraid it's all part of the territory and publishing houses will want to know you're not a shrinking violet. Although most of your time is quiet, every time a book comes out you'll be thrust into the other extreme. You'll have to be prepared to do book signings, readings, photoshoots, media and radio interviews. Don't worry if the idea of chatting on local radio scares you senseless, it doesn't come naturally to most authors.
3. Everyone will think you're on easy street
When you explain to people you write for a living they'll think you're loaded (unless of course they are writers themselves or know the publishing industry) and they'll say things like 'Oh, if only I had the time'. Agghhhhh.
4. Your relatives and friends will phone in the middle of the day
Okay, I know I said you'll get lonely but when you freelance people seem to think you're just watching crap daytime TV all day long. They'll phone and - worse case scenario - pop round when you're trying to fathom out a difficult scene.
5. Your agent won't phone you all the time
Every time the phone rings it will undoubtedly be your mum/granny/sister/best friend rather than your agent. Agents are busy people and they'll only be in touch when they've got something to say.
6. You'll go to parties and meet people you don't like
Don't think everybody in publishing is wonderful - a hell of a lot are but you'll never get on with everyone and some novelists really do have big fat chips on their shoulders. (Me excluded, of course.)
7. You will have to edit your book
Your editor will undoubtedly have some editorial suggestions for your masterpiece. Don't take this too personally and don't put up too big a fight with them. Okay, if you really do think they don't understand where you're coming from then by all means say so but remember they've had a lot more book publishing experience.
8. You will put on weight
It's a certainty your waist measurement will increase when you're in novel mode. When I'm writing I just always eat the easiest thing possible. When I was writing my last book I lived on pasta and pizza for three months, a la Robert DeNiro in Raging Bull.
9. You will procrastinate
Despite the best of efforts you'll most definitely try and find other things to fill your time when you should be writing. Such as the washing, or nipping to the shops or popping the kettle on - you know what I mean
10. You will have to face your critics
Be prepared for harsh words from book reviewers and so called friends. Hey, you can't please everyone all the time!
Top ten author truths